I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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