Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
home. puking in laundry basket.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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