My sheets look like a crime scene.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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