this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
