I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
