I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We got so high we made milksteak
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize