i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i barfeds in our rink
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
