I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
