ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize