hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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