I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
