I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
