I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
