When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
