she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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