I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
