This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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