he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
