Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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