bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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