That's intense
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
