Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
