Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
