i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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