so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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