And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
