Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
