I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
