That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
