Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
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