Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
