So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize