She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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