Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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