Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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