4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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