its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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