I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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