in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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