id be glad to
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize