How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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