Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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