Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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