she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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