we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
