pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
