I don't think brook has ever known best
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
