Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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