I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
