So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
