she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize