the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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