is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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