I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
