If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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