Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
