My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
