please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
