he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
