So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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