Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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