Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
