I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
