Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
