already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
