New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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