how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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