so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
