Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
