I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
