What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
